Enoughness: A Day for Being Grounded in a World That's Gone Nuts.
Live like you have enough & are enough. Just for one day.
What’s in today’s Bento Box? Permission to live your life like you have enough and are enough.
What you’ll learn? Good question! Maybe it’s not really about learning today, but about keeping company on this weird and fascinating journey called life?
Pro tip: slow the f’ down.
So here I am, sitting at my desk, about to churn out another newsletter. Because, you know, everyone's doing it.
And it's not like I don't have stuff to talk about. I do, maybe too much. But then, this little voice in my head goes,
"Great, another drop in the ocean of endless noise. Just what everyone needs right now.”
And that got me thinking—do we really need more noise? Hell no.
It hit me that this whole self-improvement circus is built on a bullshit premise: You're not enough.
Yes, no, sorry. No matter how awesome you are - you can do better than that. And in fact, you SHOULD.
But the self-improvement goal is like the horizon: always there, but you can never get any closer.
“The seed of this problem is planted when we’re young and told that we can, and should, “do it all.”
On the one hand, this message encourages ambition and achievement: great!
At the same time, it leaves you feeling forever as though you’re falling short: you don’t do enough, earn enough, or have enough.
The implicit message is: You’re not enough. So keep going and run faster.
This leads to a kind of internal persecution: not that you’re not capable, but that if you just work harder, you can be better at everything!
Paradoxically, this message results in what psychoanalyst Josh Cohen calls “a strange composite of exhaustion and anxiety, a permanent state of dissatisfaction with who we are and what we have. And it leaves us feeling that we are servants rather than masters of … the unending work we put into achieving our so-called best selves.”
“Flux: 8 Superpowers for Thriving in Constant Change” by April Rinne
From rat race to hamster wheel.
That's right. It's a never-ending hamster wheel of not having enough, not being enough.
So, I had this deep insight, probably courtesy of not enough sleep and coffee deficit:
What if we call BS on this and declare one day a week as “Enoughness Day”?
A day where you're enough, just as you are.
One Whole Day of not trying to improve yourself, or fix anything. You know, “just” living your life.
Think about it. What if, just for one day, you lived like a person who's already got their shit together? Like there's nothing to fix, buy, or hustle for.
Let's make this day about embracing the present, about being rooted in who we are, not who we're pressured to become.
In countries that celebrate Thanksgiving, people get one day a year to be grateful. But let’s be real, sometimes even gratitude feels like another item on the to-do list.
The world's a hot mess right now—uncertainty and pressure are the flavors of the day. We all sense that some big changes are coming, and many of us feel unprepared.
But sometimes, the best thing to do is to stop flailing your limbs hastily and Slow Down. It's not laziness—it's strategic.
When your brain is screaming, "Change is coming! Do something!" sometimes the bravest thing to do is to stand still. Let the muddy waters of life settle.
There's no point rushing through life's chaos only to end up face-first in the mud.
So, here's the deal: one day a week, give yourself a break.
Live like you're already that happy, fulfilled person. Tell yourself, "I'm enough." That’s it. You don’t need to chant or sing mantras, burn palo santo, or do any other quantum leaping.
It's a radical act of self-acceptance in a world obsessed with more, better, faster.
Who knows what happens if we start practicing it more often?
We might just find that the real superpower is in realizing we already have everything we need.
Stay real,
P.S. And if it’s still too hard to feel like you’re enough & have enough, do yourself a favour and watch this:
Here are some Insights from Laurie Santos,a professor of psychology at Yale University, as she discusses the science of happiness and how we can rewire our thinking to lead happier lives:
Understanding Our Misconceptions
Our evolutionary history doesn't prioritize happiness.
Here’s the fundamental misconception – the belief that we are inherently wired for happiness. The reality is quite different. Natural selection doesn't prioritize our happiness; it primarily aims for our survival and reproduction.
We chase happiness like crazy and yet many people today find themselves less happy than ever before.
The Pitfalls of Miswanting
’Meet ‘miswanting,' the act of pursuing things we believe will make us happy, only to find they fall short of our expectations. This phenomenon occurs due to various cognitive biases that cause us to misjudge what truly brings happiness.
Many of our intuitions about happiness are incorrect.
Pursuing money, material possessions, or status often doesn't lead to lasting happiness.
The Comparison Trap
Another common mistake we make is constantly comparing ourselves to others. We used to compare ourselves to those around us and somewhat similar to us; thanks to our technology, we now compare ourselves to everyone, everywhere and all the time.
No wonder we feel like we’re losers, even when objectively, we're doing well in life.
The Hedonic Treadmill
Hedonic adaptation is a concept that describes how we become accustomed to positive experiences, diminishing their impact over time. This leads to the 'impact bias,' where we overestimate the long-lasting effects of positive events.
Hence my suggestion to have a weekly respite from chasing more, more, more.
Because that great next thing you’re chasing right now won’t keep you happy for too long.
In a world drenched in dopamine, it’s about wanting, not having.
The Power of Rewirements
To combat these cognitive biases and rewire our thinking, Santos suggests a set of practices she calls 'rewirements.' These practical steps can help us change our behaviors and ultimately lead to increased well-being.
What are the key rewirements?
Social connection (in real life, in real time)
Other-orientedness: step away from ‘me, myself and I’ for a bit.
Gratitude
Savouring: notice when good things happen!
and good old Exercise
Putting Knowledge into Practice
The problem? Understanding these strategies is only half the battle, and it’s the easier half.
The real work lies in putting them into practice.
Yes, another thing on your ‘to do’ list, unless it’s Enoughness Day, of course!