How to get over discouragement in long-term goal pursuit.

It's Monday and you're already spent for the week.

Most people don’t fail because they really fail; they fail because they give up too soon. 

So it’s not that what you’ve done was wrong, but simply that you stopped doing it. 

It’s a matter of persistence and consistency over a long enough period. 

It’s easy to be consistent in short bursts - say, power through a 30-day challenge; it’s quite another to keep putting in the reps over six months, two years, or five years. 

And even more so when you don’t seem to be making much progress. 

When you get a quick and positive feedback loop - it’s much easier; when it feels like you’re digging a tunnel with no light on the horizon, and the payoff is very uncertain, discouragement is almost inevitable. 

And that’s ok!

Just because you sometimes feel discouraged does not mean you need to give up or that something is wrong with the initial goal. 

It’s a natural part of life. 

That said, you want to prepare for it and make it as short as possible. 

How?

Here are some tips to mitigate the debilitating state:

Be realistic or the Cognitive side of things. 

There are many misconceptions as to how long different things take. 

We keep seeing a lot of ‚overnight success’ -tweets going viral, people making 10k a month in their third month of doing business; then there are those selling us dreams such as learning a language in 30 days, getting 100k followers in a month plus a bikini body by the end of the weekend. 

You need enthusiasm and optimism to start and a lot of realism to get you to the finish line.

If you want to keep your sanity mostly intact, it is your job to gauge how long it REALLY takes - on average - to achieve what you want to achieve; IN CIRCUMSTANCES SIMILAR TO YOURS. The last part is crucial to distinguish. You want to find someone who’s done it already that you can relate to. 

If you’re a busy stay-at-home mom of 3 under 3, don’t try to achieve the same results as the single and carefree dude in his 20s, living in his parents’ basement. 

Reinventing yourself takes five years. https://jamesaltucher.com/blog/ultimate-cheat-sheet-reinventing-self-2/

Learning a language takes years unless all you do is study it.

Becoming an expert in anything takes thousands of hours of deliberate practice with good feedback loops. 

A marathon of sprints. 

Going after your big, long-term goals, such as building a business, getting a degree, or changing careers, is very different than a short burst of energy you put into a smaller goal.

You need to learn to pace yourself. 

Sometimes you will run, another day you will walk, and there might be days when all you can give to it is inching forward. It is also ok to take a moment to just sit - just don’t sit for too long.

Just because you need to adjust the pace is not a reason to quit.

Never-ending Story.

Many dreamers start with a lot of motivation. 

We work hard, and we do make progress, but it’s often discouraging to find out that, DESPITE the efforts, there is still so much left to do. 

That’s basically discouragement due to overwhelm. 

If you’re fixated on the goal, the journey can be a grueling experience.

How to make the journey easier?

• Find some company. It’s the best way to have extra accountability and share the burden.

• Increase automaticity. Decide what part of the experience can become a habit and create a routine to plant it in your days. Decisions are friction and can lead to overthinking, second-guessing, and procrastination. 

„Set it and forget it” is often the easiest way to get rich, but you must set it right first. 

• Temporarily suspend your judgment. That brings us back to the part of setting realistic expectations - give yourself enough time to measure your progress. Many of us start planting some seeds, and when there is nothing sprouting on day three, we are ready to throw in the towel. 

Your job is to do what you have control over - your input - not to try to control what’s beyond your control. Things take what they take; you checking the progress frantically does not speed things up. 

Decide upfront what your input will be and when you want to measure your progress and, if necessary, course-correct. 

And, above all else, don’t forget you’re a human. 

Take a short break, throw an hour-long pity party, cry a little, and drink hot cocoa. 

Just don’t quit.