Say Goodbye to Pseudowork and Start Taking Meaningful Action.
Managing your emotions is just as important as your logical mind.
We plan, sketch, dream, and learn, yet many of us still don’t do what we want to do and even say we’ll do.
There is a big gap between our intentions and our actions, and many struggle with bridging it.
And the thing that suffers the most?
Our dreams.
The disappointment and frustration people experience when their dreams and aspirations are not fulfilled are very real.
Welcome to the graveyard of your dreams!
„I sometimes feel like I live in planning 24/7. Every action is „too risky” or „potentially wrong,” so I make a mental note of it and move on to the next thing. How do you go from joining 3 communities, buying 3 courses, reading 3 books, to actually applying SOMETHING you’re learning?”
The „graveyard of dreams” is a place where people’s goals or aspirations go to die, where unfulfilled dreams go to rest or fade away.
It’s a vivid description of a place where abandoned or failed projects, businesses, or ambitions are left to decay or be forgotten.
Just think of a career that never took off, a business that failed to launch, a relationship that never worked out, or a project that was never completed.
Keeping the fire alive while putting out fires.
Dreams are lovely, but they can’t compete in urgency - and pain - with bills that need to be paid, a work project, a dog that needs to be walked, or a crying baby that needs to be entertained.
They are often tucked away for quiet moments, fuelled by nothing more than our intrinsic motivation.
You are probably the only person who cares about your ambitions and dreams; everyone else is too busy thinking about themselves.
But since there’s no one to nag you about your dream project, no one to check on you and push you - you’re usually on your own.
Just you and your dream, your passion project, your business idea.
It feels good to picture your dream come true, but it’s something else entirely working on it for days, months, or even years, without knowing if you really have what it takes to make it happen.
It’s not a technical problem; it’s an emotional problem.
We like to think that we don’t do what we want to do due to some technical problem, such as not having enough time, skills, or money - and in some rare cases, it is true!
We keep ourselves busy waiting to have more time (instead of looking for it), buying new courses and books, planning and outlining, consuming more, and producing less.
We are either never ready to start or don’t have the motivation - or willpower - to follow through.
Here’s a list, by no means exhaustive, of why it is the way it is:
You’re an Overthinker:
„Overthinking is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” - Unknown
You don’t know what you want and are not sure what to choose. Since pursuing a goal is often a significant investment of your precious resources, we all want to make sure we invest our precious resources right! It’s no surprise you’re afraid of picking the wrong thing and betting on the wrong horse. You’re scared, and you stay stuck.
You’re all thinking and not doing.
You collect courses and books but rarely apply the knowledge in life.
You overthink every step to minimize risk.
You don’t know how to navigate the inevitable uncertainty.
You keep riding a stationary bike that won’t get you where you want to get.
Boys and girls, please welcome Overthinking!
What is Overthinking?
It’s the art of creating problems that weren’t even there.
It’s like a disease. It can consume your mind and rob you of your happiness and productivity.
It leads to paralysis by analysis.
It’s a huge waste of time and energy. It’s better to take action and learn from your mistakes than to sit and analyze every detail.
It’s a form of self-torture. Learn to trust yourself and your instincts.
You’re a Dreamer:
„Dreams are important, but it’s the action you take that makes them come true.” - Unknown
You kind of know what you want and enjoy picturing the outcomes; it’s just the work you’re not crazy about.
You like to dream but never do anything about it. Well, maybe apart from creating a couple of pretty vision boards on Pinterest.
You might have tried manifesting a better reality once or twice, too.
You like to fantasize that one day, when you’re ready (whatever that means, because even you’re not entirely sure), the day will come, and you will do what it takes to make your dream happen.
FOMO keeps you busy but not efficient.
But dreams without action are just wishes.
Dreamers imagine what is possible, but Doers make it a reality.
Dreams are the starting point, but action is the destination.
Being a Dreamer means you’re spending the imaginary money you won without ever buying the lottery ticket.
You chase Shiny Objects:
„Shiny object syndrome is like a mirage in the desert. It looks enticing from afar, but as you get closer, you realize it’s just an illusion.” - Unknown
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, and if you’re a curious, impulsive type, it’s very hard for you to stop scanning your environment for something more enticing than whatever it is you’re doing now.
Boredom is lethal to your dopaminergic brain, motivation, and self-discipline.
You’re looking for shortcuts and ways to avoid doing hard work.
You’re always preparing for something but have problems starting, and when you start, you quickly quit, rarely taking your projects to the finish line. Why? Because you have something BETTER, more promising on the horizon that infused you with motivation and hope.
When the going gets tough, you switch to a different project.
You keep yourself distracted.
Your biggest struggle is to sustain motivation for your original idea. The real work is often tedious and lacks early-stage excitement.
Your curious mind is drawn towards novelty and exploration, not plowing through something that already feels familiar.
You’re a Perfectionist:
„Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfectly, we can avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.” - Brene Brown
Perfectionism is a form of self-sabotage. It keeps us from taking risks and pursuing our dreams.
Perfectionism is the enemy of progress. It’s better to take imperfect action than to wait for everything to be perfect.
You manage to start working on your goal, but you would accept nothing less than sheer perfection. I see many people like the Perfectionist label, as it depicts their crazy high standards and work ethic. So it’s bad, but it’s good.
Instead of finishing a project or shipping your work, you’re busy polishing it, perfecting it, and delaying it.
I honestly think true Perfectionists are a rare breed; you are not looking for perfection; you’re just insecure, usually because you mistake your work for your worth as a person.
You’re a Heroic Individualist:
„I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”
William Ernest Henley
The only way to do something in-depth is to work hard.
It’s skewing the idea of self-leadership by believing we have to be self-sufficient, and if we fail, it’s not down to our human nature but our character flaws.
You believe you’re the master of your own destiny and take full responsibility for your actions.
You rely on your motivation and discipline - and let’s be honest, both are scarce resources in your case.
When you succeed - it’s on you; when you fail - it’s also on you.
You're to blame if you try a couple of times and quit when the going gets tough.
You keep your projects a secret and try to brave the wilderness on your own, not understanding that most dreams die in isolation.
„Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” - Winston Churchill
Seriously? That is a tall order!
The reality is we are often our own special blend of all of the above.
We like to engage in what I like to call pseudowork: thinking, planning, learning, consuming information - all the things that feel like work but don’t really move the needle much.
We honestly believe that it’s we need to master the thinking, and logical part of the equation, while in reality, more often than not, it’s down to managing our emotions (and self-regulation).
It’s time we stopped hiding behind productivity hacks and more planning and started treating our emotions not as flaws of the system but as helpful messengers that they are.
Denying the real problem, or at least a big part of it, lies in how we navigate our emotions can slow our progress or stop it entirely.
Now is an excellent time to investigate what’s really hiding behind perfectionism, pseudowork, chasing shiny objects, procrastination, and resistance.
Now is an excellent time to become Whole Humans again, with the logical and emotional part on board.