What Are You?

Essence- your natural way of showing up in the world.

Let's talk about Essence.

Not purpose, not passion, not personality, though these matter too.

Essence is something simpler - and at the same time - more mysterious.

It's your natural way of being in the world. Something so deeply YOU that you don't even notice it. It's not something you've learned, it's something you are.

Think of it like this, some of us can't help but notice when things are out of alignment. We see it everywhere: in spaces, in ideas, in how things flow. We mentally fix windows in buildings because they just look "wrong" to our eyes; we mentally crop images we see, rearrange things in our environment - or our heads - to make them "just"; or we recognize thoughts in conversations.

It's not about perfectionism or OCD - it's more like regaining our homeostasis.

Simply, it's something we do because we cannot not do it. It's effortless, like breathing (I freaking hope breathing is effortless to you).

It's just how we are in the world.

The funny thing about essence is that it's often so invisible to us precisely because it's so natural. It's like asking a fish to notice water. You might even take it for granted or think it's not special because, well, that's what you do, right? Doesn't everyone do that?

No, they don't.

Mirror, Mirror on The Wall

This is why we often need others to help us see our essence clearly. We need it to be reflected back to us one way or another. Sometimes it takes someone else saying "You just do that amazing thing with ideas/spaces/people - how do you do that?" for us to even notice what we're doing. Their surprise or appreciation becomes a mirror reflecting back to us what we've taken for granted. IF we’re lucky to get in front of the right mirrors.

Those moments of recognition - when someone gets what's unique about our way of being - they're precious. They help us name what was nameless, see what was invisible.

Stepping Back

Sometimes we need to step back from all the doing, achieving, all the becoming - just to notice how we already are.

Not in some profound, mystical way, but simply in the way you naturally sort ideas while others are talking. Or how you instinctively notice what's missing in a room. Or how you can't help but feel where energy is stuck and wanting to move it.

It's funny - we often search far and wide for meaning and direction, when sometimes the answer is in noticing what we're already doing without trying. It's in the background music of our lives that's playing so constantly we've tuned it out.

Some Things Change - Other’s Don’t

Don't confuse essence with passion. And definitely don't confuse it with purpose. While purpose feels like something you need to discover, wrestle with, or achieve, essence is just... there. It's in how you move through your day. It's in what your mind naturally does when you're not trying to do anything at all.

You might not feel passionate about your essence. It's too normal for you, too everyday.

The passion often comes later when you find forms that let your essence express itself. Like a coach who discovers that coaching perfectly matches their natural way of seeing and being. But coaching itself isn't their essence. It's a container for their essence, and it could take different shapes and forms.

And let's get real - in today's world, those containers are shifting fast. The neat boxes we used to put ourselves in are crumbling. That job title you built your identity around? That industry you thought you'd retire in? That role that felt so you? They might vanish or transform beyond recognition. AI is eating whole professions for breakfast. Climate change is reshaping what's possible. I think the “great resignation” was a preview of the constant reinvention we're all facing.

But here's the thing: your essence doesn't give a damn about any of that. It's still there, doing its thing, seeing what it sees, being what it is.

If you're a pattern-matcher, you'll still be matching patterns whether you're doing it in data analysis, creative work, or something that doesn't even exist yet. If you're a bridge-builder between ideas and people, you'll still be building bridges long after your current job title becomes obsolete.

Your essence is always positive.

It always adds value.

It's a gift, a natural way of contributing to the world.

But here's the tricky part. You can't pin it down too tightly. The moment you think you've got it completely figured out, it shows you another facet. It's like having a relationship with a deep part of yourself. It unfolds over time, reveals itself in new ways. Your essence is alive, but very elusive. Like love and other big words - it's both deeply real and wonderfully mysterious.

This is exactly why we need to hold our essence lightly - not because it's fragile, but because it's resilient as hell and needs room to roam.

The stream will flow whether or not its current channel still works. Our job is to stay true to the stream while being ready to carve new channels.

Sometimes that means letting go of containers we've outgrown before they even break. Sometimes it means pioneering containers that don't exist yet.

The real work isn't in finding it (it's already there), but in clearing away enough noise to notice it. In creating enough space to let it speak. In stepping back from the endless to-do lists and "should-be's" long enough to remember: "Oh right, this is just how I am." And sometimes, in letting others help us see it. We need those moments of feedback, those "you always do that thing..." observations, those appreciative recognitions from people who get us. They're like breadcrumbs leading us back to ourselves.

So you can't reduce it to a mission statement or a neat definition. That would miss the point entirely. Keep it simple. Let it surprise you. Let it unfold. Your job isn't to force it or fix it, but to notice it, to make space for it, to let it emerge in its own way. To have a relationship with it that deepens over time.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply to get out of your own way and let your essence do what it naturally does. Let your way of being, just as it is, add something valuable to the world.

The irony is that this stepping back, this pausing to see the bigger picture - it often feels like we're not doing enough. Like we should be pushing harder, achieving more, becoming better. But sometimes the most productive thing we can do is stop trying so hard and notice what's effortless.

You can also try and ignore your essence, even if it’s staring you in the face. Fair enough. Just know that things may get ugly. If you don’t believe me - listen to Bernardo Kastrup.

So, what’s your essence? What’s the water you’re swimming in?