For a long time, I was like a hot air balloon.
I would glide majestically and quietly through the skies.
"I like to think of a hot air balloon flight as the old-fashioned Sunday drive.
You never know where you are going, how long it would take to get there, or what you would see along the way"
-Captain Bob
My motivation and passion were my propulsion, somewhat unreliable.
Sometimes the wind would blow, and I would fly at great speed.
In a short time, I would accomplish many things; I could work intensely for days if not weeks.Â
At other times I would float like a cloud in the sky.
I would read, think, and drink copious amounts of coffee (and sometimes wine), waiting to catch another gust of wind, another creative wave.
It was beautiful and romantic, the way a true artist's life should be, but hell, it was not practical!
Weather dependent.
If you know anything about hot air balloons, you know that flying them requires near-perfect conditions to stay safe.Â
And it was the same for my productivity and creativity.
Sometimes the stars would align perfectly, and the Muse would visit my quarters. But my locus of control was somewhere else. I felt like there was nothing I could do about it.Â
We had a great time together when she visited, but somehow she was never around when I really needed her.Â
Can You Steer A Hot Air Balloon?Â
It is possible.
Hot air balloons don't have steering wheels, but hot air balloon pilots use the wind direction and speed at different heights in order to steer the balloon.
But Is it easy to steer a hot air balloon?
Unlike airplanes and helicopters, hot air balloons have steering restrictions. A hot air balloon pilot can ascend or descend but has very limited means to steer left or right.
If you're a human hot air balloon, relying on motivation, passion, and Muse, you're in for a lot of struggle and heartache.Â
It worked for me for a long time, but at some point, I grew frustrated, and the romantic phase was over.Â
Where are we going to land?
My reality changed - I was a mom now and a business owner.
I wanted to be able to work on my projects when I wanted, but also when it was possible.
Maybe I could carry on my hot air balloon adventure and still get where I was hoping to get, but I needed more than a maybe.Â
Maybes and luck are good for hobbyists.Â
I wanted to become a jet plane, with my own propulsion, with an inner locus of control.
I wanted to manufacture my own luck.Â
But for that, I had to become a Pro.Â
Flying a hot air balloon, as fun as it can be, means you never really know where you're going to end up. It can be a great pastime but not a reliable means of transportation if you know where you want to get.Â
So I started thinking of building my own engine and steering options, otherwise known as self-leadership.
Building an Autonomous Flying Object.Â
Yes, it was fun for a while, but not sustainable. I was tired of my ups and downs, the inconsistent effort that would rarely take me to where I wanted to get.Â
The real question was: can we change that, or are we doomed?
That led me to a fascinating realm of human 'engineering' and questioning my previous assumptions on talent, motivation, creativity, luck, discipline, resilience, will, and many other fascinating concepts (hello, growth mindset!).
What's innate, and what can we change?
Why is change so difficult?
Why is the gap between our intentions and actions so wide and deep?
Can we shrink it?
What was first: the chicken or the egg? Well, maybe not that.
As I dug deeper and got more granular with my questions, a fascinating picture of being a human started to emerge, and I am excited to share it with you in my newsletter.Â
Let's find out what we:
can change, and how to find the courage - and knowledge - to do it
cannot change
how to navigate life
For now, though, let's wrap it up with a line from the serenity prayer:
"God (however you define the concept) grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
The good news is we don't have to rely solely on our inner wisdom and hunches; science actually gives a lot of answers, and I am on a mission to investigate them.
Buckle up for the fun ride!