To All the Weirdos Out There: Stop Trying to Fit.

Working With Your Nature Instead of Against It

Not sure if you can tell, but it’s Wednesday and I am in a slightly rebellious mood. And that got me thinking. In any case, have a great day!

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What would the world look like if we stopped trying to fit square pegs into round holes and started working with our nature instead of against it? What would it look like if we stopped forcing and started following? If we just started trusting ourselves more?

For many years, I've been trying to do just that—fit myself into containers that weren't made for me.

I've been trying to trim myself, trying to make sense of how I function, and it always felt like walking in shoes that were too tight. NOT COMFORTABLE.

They might have looked pretty enough, but you know how it feels. Ultimately, they just create blisters, and you're very happy when you can kick them off. Later, just the thought of putting them back on hurts. So many of us just stop trying. We check out, we quit.

And yet, I thought this was the only way. I thought that was a problem—like I was a problem, how I functioned was a problem. But then - quite late - it hit me:

How can I be a problem? I am the way I am, so I don't think THIS is the real problem. Maybe the problem is that I don't fit into something arbitrary, that has been created with some top-down approach—some container that clearly doesn't contain me well.

The Negative Voice

I've been hearing this negative voice often enough: I procrastinate, I don't follow through, I don't, I don't, I don't. I should, I must, I have to, I need to.

And I've been doing that to myself too, because you just internalize the message.

That said, I don't blame the system. The system is for the average, and many of us are nothing but.

By that, I'm not saying we're exceptional—or rather: we're exceptional in many different things, just that not all of them are as useful to average society.

Still, we are who we are. We function the way we function. And the more we fight our nature and try to tame ourselves, the worse it gets. For all of us. Nobody wins.

What We're Losing

The way I see it, we're losing a lot of potential—a lot of money on the table in terms of creativity, in terms of progress, and reimagining things, and maybe it’s to look for ways to change that. And from my perspective - the world is not doing all that great these days. So it's not like I am calling to disrupt something that's been working beautifully.

I know that I will always be really shitty at a lot of things that our society thinks are necessary, and I felt bad about it long enough.

I forget to pay the bills, or I pay the same bill twice, or I just can't bring myself to do a bunch of things. But at the same time, I will do so much so quickly and so well within the areas that I want to do, that maybe that's enough.

When It Feels Like Flying

And then there's this feeling I get when I let go of all the shoulds and just follow my breadcrumbs of energy and joy; when I do something and I feel like my mind just goes into a completely different gear—it feels like fucking flying.

It's joyful, effortless, and there's no resistance. It's like the ultimate wu-wei, if you will. I don't need to sharpen my blade to chop the bones because I don't need to "chop the bones" to get the job done.

I can just effortlessly find the spaces in between.

Finding Your Way

As long as I remember, I've operated differently than a lot of people, and I know there are many people just like me.

Yet, instead of thinking, "This is unique, this is what I do best," I was like, "Oh, well maybe I do this and this really well, but it doesn't really matter because I am also very bad at other things."

It took me a while to find ways that worked for me, instead of me working for them.

But if you manage to tap into this, if you find your thing and you stop blaming yourself for working a certain way that doesn't match anything that anybody else is doing—in today's world, it's a superpower.

You're unpredictable, and we know what's happening now to everything that is predictable. Everything that's algorithmic is very easy to be copied.

But if you are good at making weird associations, spot weird things, you let something stop you in your tracks and allow the: "Huh, I don't know what it is about this, but there's something about this," then you're on to something.

If you are in that category, most of the world is not going to work for you because it's been made for someone else - and someone who doesn’t even exist in reality, but is merely a concept.

You're trying to put yourself in a container that just doesn't fit—like the shoes are not your size, not your shape, and not meant for you to walk.

For some of us, doing what we're expected to do is like asking us to climb a hill wearing high heels. Is it doable? Well, I guess. Is it a smart thing to do? You be the judge of that.

Maybe there's a reason why I hate wearing shoes and moved to a country where I can wear flip-flops for most of the year.

Designing Your Life

When I start trusting myself more, I realize that while routines help reduce friction and make certain things easier, I also need variety and stimulation. I need things to play with and explore. You can say I'm feeding myself dopamine, but that's when I feel like I'm flying. It's not mindless scrolling or gaming all day—I'm finding things and connecting them in ways that energize me. That’s my fuel.

It's really about accepting that you're never going to be like “everybody else”¹, which is actually awesome when you think about it. You have an advantage, an edge, but you need to tap into that edge and follow your energy and your own quirks.

It will take time. You won't get your life off a shelf. You'll need to design it, tweak it, and customize it. It takes effort, thinking from first principles, but it’s an investment.

I stopped apologizing for the way I function and I stopped feeling guilty about it. I also stopped trying to explain it. That is a game changer.

What the world would look like if we stopped feeling bad about who we are and trying to fit into someone else's containers?

Of course, we can't expect the world to create custom solutions for us. We need to do something tailored to our needs. That requires understanding our needs and trusting that they're a feature, not a bug first. I believe that if it exists, it's here to contribute something.

Our ancient brains were different too. There were farmers, hunters, gatherers, healers, sense-makers—different roles in society. Don't force the fish to learn how to fly.

Reclaiming Your Own Authenticity

There's another crucial piece: reclaiming your own authenticity, which requires trust and acceptance. It means being done with telling yourself you like what you don't, or that you don't like what you do.

For so long, many of us run internal propaganda campaigns against our own authentic responses. We pretend to enjoy things that drain us because they're "supposed to" be good for us. We dismiss things that energize us because they seem frivolous or aren't what serious people are supposed to find interesting.

It's exhausting to constantly gaslight yourself about your own preferences and reactions. When everything around you says your natural responses are "wrong," it takes real courage to say, "Actually, no, this is what I like, this is what energizes me, this is what feels right."

So: do no harm. But other than that? Go, live your life.

When Play IS Work

For ages, I would do something because I was internally driven to do it—like dancing with the world. The world would show me something, and I'd follow up on that. Like an improv class: "yes, and..." It was effortless, playful, and most of the time created something unique and valuable.

But I was taught this was NOT the way to live life. That I had to get serious, exert effort. Chop bones rather than find the spaces around them.

The best part: I felt GUILTY when I got what I wanted effortlessly! Like a fraud who'd tricked the system. Like if it wasn't "earned" through struggle, it wasn't real. I'd have fun doing what I do best, then someone would say, "OK, fun's over, get back to real work."

But for some people, play IS work and work IS play. We have this notion that if someone's having too much fun, it's suspicious.

Part of our tragedy is getting so hung up on the CONTAINER instead of the ESSENCE. The what and why should precede the how. We shaped the containers, and now they shape us.

1. There is no such thing as “everybody else” btw. It’s a myth. Some simply give in to the societal levelling more readily than others.